Welcome back to part 3. As I shared in my previous post part 2, I had surgery on September 30, 2019. On a physical level, as with all moving parts of my life concerning cancer, everything and everyone was in concert, all working together to have the best possible outcome for me. The surgery was booked very quickly, the doctor and her great surgical team did some magic and everything was over in approximately one and one half hour, with minimal bleeding. I vaguely remember the doctor talking with me in the recovery room telling me that everything went very well. Even my body was in on the action, making sure there was minimal trauma and pain for me. I was given the option to leave the hospital that evening, however in my brilliance I chose to stay as my body was a bit tired.
I was home the next day with minimal pain and I was then driving within three days. I was so conscious and aware of every little twinge or muscle stretching within my body. I had a twinge of pain for several days after the surgery, and that was the extent of body pain for me. Because I chose to start living my life again, not as if nothing had happened, it was because everything had shifted and changed. I did the necessary paper work for when I chose to leave this earth, I notified my family and friends of my requests for the remains of my body at the time of my passing.
On a mental level within my mind, there is no other way to describe how my mind had shifted from any lingering past hurts from my childhood to letting those hurts go, any past relationships and my perspective of love and how it didn't turn out the way I thought it should have gone and letting my ideas on love be different. On an emotional level my connection with family and friends was a new and fresh and tender way of seeing them with loving eyes and how they were and are a necessary part of my being loved.. I was surrounded by love on all levels and in all ways.
On an energetic level during one of the beautiful sound healing journeys I was taken/ shown my womb and I could feel tremendous amounts of stuck and long ago memories of energy there. Much of that energy was dark, black, and just didn't belong there. The wonderful healer, by the way her name is Katherine Dempsey, shared with me that I was holding onto not only my own memories of children unborn, I was also carrying other lifetimes of the women in my lineage who had children born and unborn, miscarriages, terminations, and all of the traumas that occurred to some of those women. I was carrying all of that and energetically for all women throughout this lifetime and other lifetimes. All of that energy, all the memories for all other women of pain, trauma, and a lack of love for self, was taken and blessed and returned to Creator, Divine Source and released.
On a spiritual level each step of this process brought me closer and closer to being engulfed, completely immersed, being at peace, and living in Grace and Ease. It wasn't as if I was walking around in life in a fog, I still had to wake up each morning, take care of my physical needs, do housework( well as little as I wanted to as I was moving slowly, and paying attention to what my body needed and wanted), and see family and friends.
I continued to wait for the lab results of the surgery and the tissue that had been sent for consultations and look sees by many people as is the case when there is cells that have been acting and behaving out of the norm. I continued to wait, and for the majority of the days and weeks I waited, I was still wrapped in love by those who were aware of my experience. On those days and or minutes I felt that I wanted to run screaming down the streets with the energy of not knowing, I reached out to a few friends and family and acted as though life was going on as usual, and it was doing just that.
I had waited long enough, in my mind, and phoned the doctor to ask for the results of the surgery, and I had an appointment set within minutes for November 5, 2019. I went for the appointment and the first words from the doctor who had the biggest smile and the biggest show of energy was " I have nothing but good news for you." The results came back with no other signs of cancer. I was hugged by the doctor as I let go of the last months of anticipation, dread, fear, some small levels of anxiety; I let it all go with a deep breath.
And being honest and vulnerable through this process of doing this blog, I knew at the deepest level of my mind and my Soul, that I was in a state of peace no matter what the results were from the surgery. I knew that everything in life was perfectly fine and I was perfectly fine and perfect just as I was. I know that part of my soul purpose is to live a life that is free of judgment of myself first, love myself gently, and laugh at all kinds of crazy that I create during this living on Earth. The other part of my soul purpose is to do the same for others who come into my world, to have no judgment of them, to love them gently and show them it's ok and perfectly fine to laugh at the crazy that has been running in their life.
This has been my life thus far, and how do I look at cancer and its visit to my world? I view cancer without all of the fears of death, and expectations of society that it is painful and that your life is ending. I have been shown through the sessions of sound healing and through my choice, to embrace cancer, to love it, to bless it, and to let it go from my body and my life. Right now and in this space and time of my life I am choosing to not invite cancer back. The next minutes, minutes, days, weeks, months and years of my life can have some challenges, that's perfectly fine, I will view those challenges, ask if I want to play with the energies of those "setbacks" or choose something that is ease, light of mind, and peace. That is what I am doing and choosing each day I am here on Earth.
There is much fear, dread and anxiety in today's world, throughout social media, television and other people's beliefs about death being a horrible and painful part of living. I am here to tell you from my perspective, you can shift and change much of that fear and dread and anxiety. When you breath and stand still and allow what every comes up for you about all this, you can get through this. Did you know that the brain doesn't know the difference between a real experience or a live situation, and a memory? You can choose to make a different movie inside the mind, send that message through the body cells, and watch for miracles.
The biggest most vital and most important message I can share with you is to love, love yourself, love others even if they don't want the love or they are afraid of love, and to let those others be if they don't want what you have to offer. They are on their own journey of having a body, being loved, and choices in life. No matter how much we care for another, we can only choose for our own journey and through that choosing we show others how to have the same thing, love.
Go to my tasters of sound healing on this website, listen and start to choose for you, your mind, your body, listen to your Soul and the Grace within. I am here for you when you choose to listen deeper, feel deeper, love deeper and live a deep and full life.
Just a note on this photo ;a beautiful and grace filled photographer Brady Boehmer took this and other photos when I had just learned about the cancer information in August 2019. She showed what and how I was living most of my life then, with laughing and ease. I continue to do so to the best of my ability and my choosing each day. She was able and very wonderfully caught the energy of Grace and Ease and Light of my Soul. Thank you Brady.
I don't carry a brass singing bowl with me in every day life and places I go to. I wonder what I could gift to others with the light and sound and information right there and then, at the gas station, the restaurant, or walking down the street? I wonder.
Thank you so very much for being with me through this part of my life in this blog post. My intent was to and is to share what my experience was with cancer, how I moved through it, and that nothing is impossible, if you choose what is light and true and peace and harmony for you.
Deep and Wide Love to you and everything that you are right now.