My Experience; Cancer doesn't have to be a life or death choice; Part 2
Welcome back to my journey with cancer part two. As I shared in my previous post, part 1, I had been given a diagnosis of cancer by the specialist gynecologist. I had not expected to hear those words about me; I had other family members who passed from cancer, and it seemed quite foreign to me. Once I heard the words cancer and operation, it felt as though my mind went blank, and my body started to vibrate, you know that feeling when you drink too much coffee or you've just missed having a car accident? My body was doing that, responding in the most basic way when there is a perceived danger; go into fight or flight mode also known as survival.
I knew at that minute or that time in my life, I had to make a decision of how I wanted to deal with this " threat" to me, and my body, did I want to "lay down and die", "fight with the cancer' or something else? If I chose to lay down and die, that felt like giving up on life, letting cancer win.
If I chose to "fight with the cancer" that meant that I would be letting all of society's ads, fears, judgments, and perceptions rule my world, and that the only way to get through the cancer battle field was to be operated on, take chemicals to "fight" the cancer or have invasive radiation treatments.
So I chose something else. I chose Grace and Ease, a way of thinking in every second, every minute and every hour of Grace and Ease. I can explain how I chose this attitude, this way of thinking and living my life by sharing some of my dear mother's way of living.
My mother passed away in 2016, and several years before she passed to the Other Side of this world, I knew that she was getting ready to leave us here on Earth. I didn't talk to her about it, I didn't talk to any other family members about it, or even friends if my memory serves me correctly. I just knew she was going to leave.
Before my mother passed, she asked me to be the Power of Attorney which included being the Executor of her Estate, I said yes with no other idea to say no. I believe now that was when I started to use the energy or the concept of Grace and Ease to mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare myself for the next stages of her life and her passing from living to dying..
I wasn't then and I don't consider myself now to be a deeply religious person, however I know that I observed my mother throughout her life, always doing her best to be full of Grace, which is to be the another side of compassion, and to find Ease in almost everything she did, Often Grace is associated with the church and with religion and the moments of death. Mom had a life full of many challenges from childhood through her adult life and she met the majority of them head on, front and centre, without backing away from any emotional or physical hurts that came her way. She also did her best without using the words of Grace and Ease to teach her children to do the same.
As my mother became frail and unsteady through the onset of medical challenges, she became more childlike and I knew and started to use Grace and Ease to be the kindest and most calmest person and energy around her and with her. On her last days of living, I remember covering her up with a blanket as she was often in a sleeping state and then not sleeping as we know it; she opened her eyes and said " I'm ok" and she smiled. Even as she was moving away from us into the land of the Other Side, or heaven or dying, she was perhaps trying to tell me, she didn't want to be a burden, and that she didn't need anything. We will not know what her final words or thoughts were as she slipped into a state of not speaking or moving, just breathing, then she stopped breathing.
My mother's passing and or leaving this Earth was to me, was of extreme Grace and Ease and peace. I also remember as my brother and I waited for the next stage of her death for the funeral home to move her body, that I felt the energy of Mother Mary and I smelled roses in the hospital room. There were no flowers in the room and that was a sign to me from my mother that she was full of love, sendng her love because she was so happy to get roses from me for no special occasion when she was still living. Even in her passing, Mom was showing me how to see and smell and know what Grace and Ease felt like. And I continue to love her for that.
I told the doctor that I would not be taking chemicals or radiation for cancer in my body, that I would not "fight". I told her that I would have the surgery and we could discuss what the results of the operation were after it was done. I then put the decision or choice to remain here on Earth on hold until after the surgery, almost hedging my bets, you could say. I hadn't decided or committed completely to the idea that I could choose to live a different way with or without cancer.
I chose six women to share my diagnosis with, two family members, three friends and a completely fabulous and talented Sound Healer and Reiki Master, to go on the next part of my journey. Once I chose to go through with the surgery, every part of the surgery preparation felt as though it was on full steam ahead. I had been given a diagnosis of cancer of September 10, and on September 30 I was on the operating table.
I had three, only three hands on, or in person sessions of Sound Healing, as this wonderful healer woman who also taught me a class in sound healing, had also gone through her own experience, told me that my body wanted three sessions. And I trusted her in that.
Through the years of working with energy with other bodies and through many years of meditation I developed a strong visual sense of energy and spirit. I trusted each and every picture and sense of intuition, energy and a connection to Source. In two of those sound healing sessions, I was shown the "light", often seen by those who have near death experiences, or are connected to their own way of working with spirit. In one of the sessions, there was a big open doorway with light pouring out of it towards me, with the biggest Buddha ive ever seen, there was also the energy or picture of Jesus and Mother Mary nearby.
This gave me peace and calm and an assurance that I would be ok. The next time I saw or knew there was " light" in the sound healing session, was that I was shown the words "way station" as in a railway track that lead to the light, or another track turning away from the "light" and coming back to this Earth. I chose to follow the track back to my body.
The surgery went very quickly as per the doctor's information to me in the recovery room, I vaguely remember her telling me everything went well. I then had to wait for the lab results of the surgery for any further signs of cancer. This time of waiting was going to be the ultimate test of my trust in alternative healing, using Sound Healing, doing my best to keep positive thoughts in my mind, and to let no monkey chatter drag me into anxiety, fight or flight reactions such as wanting to run screaming down the streets, and to continue to rely on my family and friends for emotional support and the wonderous healer with Reiki and Sound and Light and Information throughout this waiting time.
Has there been or is there a waiting period in your life that is causing you anxiety, sleepless nights and other emotions and feelings that you believe you aren't able to survive or handle? I am here to share this part of my life with you and also tell you, there is another way to live a happy and peaceful life no matter the challenges that come your way. Feel free to contact me and we can arrange a time for a private session of sound healing or a soul guide conversation for you.
Until the next part, take care of you, be aware, and love all of you.